Hey friends,
I feel so eager to
share! I spent some
time today looking
through old writings and
blog posts from months
ago. How different I
feel nowadays! This
journey has been one of
new vistas and locales,
but even more so of
self-discovery. Those
early posts strike me
now as downright boring,
like I thought just
being in new places was
enough to make the
writing exciting. Those
posts are so full of
ideas and plans for the
future, sometimes lost
in the details, wanting
things to be different
than they were. I wrote
about what I did and
saw, and where I went,
but not so much about
how I was feeling, and
that’s the real color of
life! Suddenly, in this
new body of mine,
feeling is the key!
I went to see
Avatar
for the 5th
time yesterday
afternoon. Afterwards,
I walked out of the
theatre and into the
warm-cool air of early
evening in west coast
India. Sitting on the
front steps of the
theatre, collecting
myself, enjoying myself,
I had a kind of major
breakthrough, about why
I love that movie so
much, and movies and
novels and music in
general - it’s cause in
movies, you can really
feel; I can really
feel.
I can feel sad and
happy, angry and
ecstatic, melancholic
and bittersweet, and I
don’t have to hold
myself back from
feeling, running from
some emotions and into
others. I realized that
that’s the key I’ve been
missing in my life for
so long: feeling,
feeling my hand behind
me, flush with the
concrete; the air
pushing and pulling
through my nostrils; the
pleasant weight of my
body in the gravity of
Earth. I can feel
happy and unhappy,
centered or off-kilter,
uncomfortable, shaky,
nervous, calm, at home.
I’ve been in India for
almost 3 months now, at
a very a-typical ashram,
and this time has
allowed me to really
breakthrough, into a
space I have deeply
longed for, and that’s
the part of me I want so
badly to share. I had
wanted to write another
letter to everyone I
know months back, while
I was in Saigon, but I
was scared and shy.
“What will everyone
think of me if I share
my cheesy reflections?”
It was like a mantra in
my head, and the
stage-anxiety I felt was
enough to shut me down.
Now what do I feel? I
feel that what people
think doesn’t matter
quite so much, and
stronger, I feel a kind
of raw excitement just
to take another risk!
What will everyone
think?
I don’t know!
Cool!
Let’s try it!
That’s where I am now,
having realized that
staying in the known is
so predictable! If I
don’t reach out to
people, I already know
what will happen: I will
feel isolated, unwanted,
unworthy of attention; I
will feel that my
problems are my own, my
fears and jealousies
skeletons to keep hidden
in the closet, where
they will only grow in
power of cobwebs and
despair. That’s the
world I have known - no
longer the world I want
to know.
Coming out of Avatar
yesterday, I saw
something so clearly,
soo clearly, and that is
how it is our feelings
that connect us to this
world. In the movie,
those beautiful, wild,
and aware blue-skinned
beings are connected to
their world, in tune
with its rhythms,
sensitive to its needs.
They are connected to
their home in a way that
humans have lost, or
misplaced, but sitting
in the night air out
front, rickshaw horns
screaming for attention,
brown-skinned beauties
eating street food from
small fluorescent-lit
stands, I felt
connected. I felt
connected to this place
in India, and connected
to something larger
too. With my senses and
heart open, sensations
dancing through me like
breath through a flute,
I felt that life is not
a business, not a task,
not something to become
or achieve. I felt
again how the first rule
of travel is that
“wherever you are, there
you are,” but I felt it
in a deeper way too, how
in some sense,
location is a lie,
because regardless of
our latitude and
longitude, we are always
right here,
always in our own
self-same bodies.
Feeling is that
connection to the world,
and sharing is its
maintenance. “Feeling is
the color in life” –
this is what I felt so
strongly last night.
So, what do I feel right
now? I feel a deep
excitement to share with
so many people, even
these cheesy
reflections! I feel
beautiful and free,
comfortable and at home
in my body, eager to go
out to dinner with
friends tonight and to
dance party after that.
I feel incredibly
fortunate and
appreciative to life for
all it has given me. I
feel comfortable with
feeling uncomfortable,
and nervous, and even
angry, which is a great
relief! I also feel
like I wanted this email
to be a bit more ‘call
to arms’, revolutionary
fervor, you know, “Feel
people, feel! We are
gods on Earth, not mice,
not ants!!”, but also
glad it’s come out
softer than all that.
And . . . I feel
exceedingly grateful to
have so many people to
write to, to share with,
to be connected to.
I sign off now with the
lyrics from a favorite
song of mine, by a band
called Clem Snide.
It’s called Moment in
the Sun, and it
expresses musically how
I feel right now:
When it’s my moment in
the sun,
Oh, how beautiful I’ll
be!
But in a normal sort of
way,
Like I am you, and you
are me . . .
I have a lot of things
to say,
And you’d be wise to
listen good . . .
When it’s my moment in
the sun,
I’ll share my problems
with the world,
And psychosomatically
I’ll sing,
To God and all His
pretty girls . . .
When it’s my moment in
the sun,
I won’t forget that I am
blessed,
But every hero walks
alone,
Thinking of more
things to confess . . .
___________________
Great soft, warm & cool,
loves,
Dala
Note from Daniel:
I met Jeff and friend at
a Workshop we were doing
in Long Island, New
York, back in 2004.
He is a very powerful,
spontaneous, and
intelligent man!
He follows Spirit daily,
and uses many of his
personal skills to
inspire people around
the world with the
infinite possibilities
which exist all around
us. You can
contact Jeff, and keep
up with him via his Blog
Site:
http://jeffbarab.wordpress.com/
"I've
Found What I've Been
Looking For"
B Y A. H.
_________________________________________
Dear Daniel:
I came across your
website and am so
thankful that I did! I
know you're interested
for people to share
their stories, so I'd
like to share mine with
you. A few months
prior to my 30th
birthday, I went through
a very rough period. I
had a baby last January,
and had some medical
issues that had gotten
out of control that my
doctors put me on
anti-depressants, which
made me feel like I lost
myself, completely
numb...but that's when
my spiritual awakening
happened. I had gone to
an acupuncturist in the
past and I thought why
not try it, as a last
resort. He actually
referred me to the movie
"The Secret" and
that's when my life
changed. I have a friend
who started "her path"
about a year before I
did and she had tried to
get me to read spiritual
material (Louise Hay, to
be specific) but I just
wasn't ready. Well after
I saw The Secret and
told her how excited I
was about it, I think
she knew I was ready and
re-introduced me to the
material that changed my
life. That was back in
September and I've been
growing more and more
every day - I am a
sponge and can't get
enough. I feel so alone,
yet so complete at the
same time - I've found
what I've been looking
for.
Ever since I can
remember, I've had this
feeling of being a loner
- just never fit in,
felt awkward in every
situation, even within
my own family. Have you
ever watched the movie
"The Truman Show"
with Jim Carrey? That
was MY movie! I felt so
connected to this poor
man, my whole life I
sort of felt like I was
alone and everyone else
was watching me from
behind mirrors, that
everyone else was almost
a puppet of some sort, I
don't know how else to
describe it, but that I
knew I was meant for
"something".
I
also have always had the
feeling that (and bear
with me because this is
also a bit difficult to
explain) if I could
break off a part of
myself and let "it" go
into it's own little
world, and let that
little part of myself
forget who "it" was, but
knowing in the end that
"it" would return back
to "me" and that
everything would be
okay, that I would go
ahead and let "it" go on
and do it's journey.
This feeling has only
made sense to me since
my spiritual awakening -
I finally understand why
I've always had that
feeling, even though a
little part of me still
thinks I just made it up
when I was little and
that it wasn't my higher
self that instilled that
bit of knowledge with
me.
Pandoiante: Relief
for a Troubled Soul
From the
Reconnections, via the
Arcturians
I
also recently found out
that I was abducted when
i was ~3 years old-
possibly along with my
twin sister, but I'm not
sure yet. I'd go into
details about what my
body remembers, but it's
a bit too "fresh" for me
to discuss. My memory
was erased, which makes
sense because I have no
memories of anything
prior to this age - not
even bits and pieces.
Right after this
happened, I went into a
very dark place. My mom
always told me that I
went through a period
(at this same age!) when
I drew nothing but dark
pictures, everything was
black and sadness. I
don't remember this
exactly, but the cells
of my body remember what
happened. I am learning
to come to peace with
this because I know it
happens to many
starseeds/lightworkers
(which I'm on the path
to start my own holistic
healing practice) and I
know it's done for our
evolutionary
purposes...it still
bothers me though!
Anyway, I gorged myself
on spiritual books and
healing my past (whew,
is there a lot of stuff
to overcome, but I think
that too is typical of
us, to overcome the
darkness), and trying to
deal with the stresses
in my relationships with
my newfound path - it's
not an easy one to take
on or discuss with
others who are not yet
ready, or who are
scared...very different
vibration, amazing how
you can really FEEL it.
I'm still on a healing
quest, but about 2
months after I was
awakened, an angel
visited me and boy did
she/it scare me at
first! I had been
reading up on astral
projection and she told
me it was safe to
"visit" them - I had a
lot of fear at the time
and had also gotten an
"attachment" of a more
negative nature/entity,
which I got rid of as
soon as I found out it
was there through Theta
Healing (it attached to
me during a chakra
clearing meditation and
I hadn't protected
myself and I was in a
much lower vibration
just starting out).
I've also always been
enchanted by mystical
movies, especially those
of Jim Henson - I love
The Story Teller series,
The Never Ending Story,
Labyrinth, The Dark
Crystal. Music is also
my life, I can't survive
without it. For several
months now (after
receiving a Reconnective
Healing Session), I have
had this odd high
pitched ringing/buzzing
in my ears that happens
a few times a day for
just a few seconds...I
read on your (or someone
else's?) website that
those are downloads
coming through - thank
goodness I know now what
it was, I was thinking
it was my guides or
angels trying to tell me
something (which perhaps
it could be that too).
After I saw my first
angel, I was told that
more galactic beings
would make contact with
me...boy were they
right! The more I
meditate, the more I see
them...the less I
meditate, the less they
appear. I got to the
point where I was seeing
them (and talking to
them, via our minds)
every time I closed my
eyes - they are so
beautiful, mostly from
Arcturus.
I
think the most difficult
part for me has been the
loneliness that I've
felt since I've started
this path. I've always
felt like I didn't quite
belong, but this just
puts me more out of
touch with the 3d world
that I just don't
understand why we do
things the way we do -
why doesn't everyone
recycle, it's so easy?
why don't more people
use cloth diapers? why
why why has always gone
through my head of why
we did things so
backwards and not in
respect of our Earth and
home and for the animals
that we should love -
that's another thing,
I've ALWAYS been a huge
fan of nature (camping,
hiking, etc.) and
animals have always been
my children, especially
cats. Everyone always
called me the crazy cat
lady and I just never
understood how someone
couldn't love animals
with the crazy intensity
that I do. I'm at the
point now where I can't
even kill the cabinet
beetles and their larvae
that get into our
pantry...I put them in a
jar and when it warms up
again I'll put them back
into the wild. it was
interesting though, a
friend told me if you
meditate and ask them
politely to leave, they
just might. Sure enough,
I tried it and I haven't
seen one in my house in
months! I'm still saving
my little jar of them
until it gets warm
though
:)
I
share my insight with
anyone who will listen,
I just wish there were
more but I know they
will come. I think it's
amazing and wonderful
that you can channel
this information. I
haven't developed my
psychic skills enough
(and interestingly, I
don't remember having
any of those skills as a
kid), but I do have my
psychic vision skill
that I'm working on for
now. I know the others
will come in time and
with practice.
Phew!
That was a lot, and I
have to thank you for
the opportunity for
letting me get this out
there. I hope your work
continues and grows an
even larger audience of
followers. Please let me
know if you have any
questions.
If you would like to
share with A.H., or ask
her any questions please
e-mail her directly at
stardreamerlove@yahoo.com She will be a
continuing contributor
to the site, and I know
she would love to be of
help to anyone in need!
~DJ
