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Mary Lou Wallner, like many Fundamentalist parents today, had to deal with her homophobia in a big way when daughter, Anna, came out to her mother late in 1988. Her first response to Anna's letter was not so nice. She condemned the sin, telling Anna how disappointed she was.

But God didn't change Anna's attitude. As it turned out, it was Mary Lou's attitude that was set to change, in a big, big way. As the passage above states, Mary Lou had a harder time dealing with homosexuality than almost anything in the world. So her daughter decided to "wear" that aspect of life for her mother, just to bring the subject closer to home. For almost 10 years enmity about the issue continued between the two, until tragically........in 1997, a phone call came to shatter Mary Lou's world. It was notification that Anna had hanged herself in her closet at home. The broken mother wept bitter tears as she chronicled about that sad event:

The Reconnections speak about this type of situation in their transmission called "The Tragic Ones." They tell us that some people (many of the young folks) come onto this Earth to feel deeply, and to wear for all of us the pain and suffering that is experienced daily because of separation-mindedness and judgment. No matter how much these deep feelers try to adapt to our ways on Planet Earth, they end up being unable to ground themselves and live in peace. When they depart (usually through suicide or illness) they tear open many hearts---offering those around them a chance to reach out for spirit help to find new levels of awareness and sensitivity in life.

Since Ana's death, Mary Lou Wallner established TEACH MINISTRIES........a non-profit organization designed to confront the intolerance and judgmental attitudes that are rampant in Fundamentalism today. She carefully and lovingly uses her own painful experience to counsel and warn her brothers and sisters of the harm that can be caused by those who preach and discriminate against lifestyles different from their own. Somehow, all of this seems so fitting. It's never "right" to take your own life, but sometimes it simply has to happen.

"In your travels here......should you encounter one of these "dark angels," we invite you to think twice about seeking to deflect them from their appointed task. Would you counsel them, and lead them to peace? Well, certainly........go on and try, if you can. But remember, My Dear Friends.......could they not, at any time they choose, rise up to heights of inestimable glory and grace? Couldn't you *all* do the very same?

It is for this grand purpose that they entered the world. We remind you, therefore, to stand back and truly drink in the grandeur of their performance. Take time to savour the portrait of pain and despair they are painting for you. They are paying much to deliver it to you. And it comes from a heart of love."

Selah.

The old adage of "you always reap what you sow" tends to take on more meaning this time of year. And giving proper THANKS for what comes up from our own personal "ground" is a task that is ever before us. I've had some time now to play with the "Emotional Freedom Technique" which I told you all about last month. The biggest gift it has given me thus far is the mantra we use when doing the "energy tapping" part of the process. It says: "Even though I have _____________________going on in my life (fill in the blank), I deeply and completely accept myself."

Wow. What a powerful thing to continually be saying.........in regards to EVERY aspect of life! "Even though you're irritating the Hell out of me right now, I deeply and completely accept myself." As the Reconnections told a friend of mine in e-mail this morning that doing this as a spiritual discipline may be great..........but doing it and MEANING IT is another story altogether. In order to do that we must have PROCESS........which eventually results in PROGRESS in our lives. Without the planting, the watering, the pruning, and other forms of "care".......the crop we produce will probably end up to be brambles and thorns. And you know what? Some years are just going to be like that. To this I say: "Even though my crop this year is brambles and thorns, I deeply and completely accept myself." And we gather in the thorns (instead of the corn), and we collect the bramble (instead of the money at auction), and we grieve (if necessary)........and then we move on. But none of that can happen, if we don't stop and give thanks first.

"We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate. It oppresses."

Interesting what Jung says here. It's exactly the opposite to what the world teaches. And is it any wonder? We also believe that incarceration is the answer to crime. We now support over 2,000,000 people in prison within the United States alone. If we keep going at this rate, we'll have more people in prison than folks on the outside, working to pay the bill. I spoke at length about that recently in a "Families of the Heart" Commentary, posted on the Star Child site.

But getting back to Thanksgiving.......Do we ever really get "enough" to satisfy the evil twin who lives inside of us? (And when I say "evil" I mean the term in the sense that evil = "live" spelled backwards. It's that which opposes us, our shadow self). Is there ever enough "stuff".....enough love......enough attention......to fill that inner VOID and shut up the critical voice which spews forth from that gaping hole?

The clear KNOWLEDGE that everything is perfect is also a nice exercise in spirituality. But the full-on experience of that truth takes firm belief, activated and empowered....not only by the emotional self but also the volitional self. And if either of those ass-pects turns into a stubborn donkey, sitting down in the midst of our road, the whole carnival show grinds to a halt, doesn't it? I mean, everything after that just tastes like pooooo............

The thing is: when we get this way (ass in the road, head up the ass)......there are times when we need to move past it, and take the high road (it's called "dragging your ass")......and there are also times when we need to simply BE what we're feeling, and let the (cow) chips fall where they may.

Is it possible to GIVE THANKS for being stubborn, for refusing to go forward when your emotions are all riled up? Oh my yes.........and in some cases, it's crucial! That growling dog inside isn't snarling for nothing. There's someone or something who has poisoned in his Alpo and he's not about to let the issue go until reparation is made---even if the heart of that situation is the result of a "little misunderstanding" (which I don't believe in, never have). People say what they say to us and we hear what we hear........and, in the Multiverse, BOTH INTERPRETATIONS are real and valid. The sooner we "get" that, as a people, the sooner our communications will expand with each other. And, by the way, that should begin happening more now, since Mercury just went direct. Thank God-Us!!!!

Dj. November 1, 2007

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

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