September, 2004
Labor Day. What a gas. My older son Jeffrey and I had been together since last night, watching movies and just hanging. Lots of work activity of late, and this weekend is for rest and reflection. We talked to several loved ones on the phone--including Joe in New York. And it was time for us to go do some Starbuck's and head to the U-District for one of our regular romps at Tower Records. The "Ave," as it is called......borders the U of W Campus, and it is, literally, filled with bohemian types, and interesting little shops--one of which always draws me in. It's called "Gargoyle's," and it never fails to put me in a pensive, gothic, lyrical state of being.
While Jeff shuffles through the CDs that he likes, I can browse through Gargoyle's and imagine all sorts of magical sites and situations. There are faeries, devils, goddesses, and green men that adorn that place.........all done up in a kind of dark and mist-ical environment.
When I finally made it to Tower, I was pulled over to the DVDs, especially the music ones, and I came upon 2 or 3 different DVDs about Joni Mitchell (pictured above) and her music. I couldn't resist purchasing one.
God! I was thunderstruck by another reconnection with a part of my life that has been hiding from me of late. It was my Peter, Paul, and Mary Era..........and my Judy Collins era, and very filled with Joni and her music. I had just moved out of my parents' house (circa 1968) with my friend Phil, and we were happily romping in round-the-clock parties at the young people's apartment house on 7th street, not far from the beach. My friend Paula and I would sit in the middle of her living room with candles burning, and all these folk songs playing, non-stop. We were both drug virgins then (I still am, really), but our natural "high" was the music. Paula had a voice like Mary Travers, and we both shared a deep love for P,P,and M, and knew all their songs. It was this part of my life that is spoken about in the "Home Before Dark" poem. The "her" that is mentioned--strumming her guitar--could have been Joan Baez, Judy Collins, or Joni. They all had that poetic majesty to them in those days. I suppose I felt most comfortable with Judy, because she came most often to Santa Monica Civic Auditorium in those days, and I went often to see her live.
In those days we had the Cosmos Folk Club in Seal Beach, California.......where it was not unusual to hear Tim Morgon sing a rousing rendition of "The Cat Came Back" or Hoyt Axton to ring out "Gawd DAMNNNNN the Pusher Man".......or even to have gospel-folk singers Joe and Eddie do a kick butt version of "There's a Meetin' Here Tonight." A little further down the coast was The Golden Bear, which I think still lives..........by Huntington Beach Pier, where I saw Jose Feliciano, the Byrds, and Seals and Crofts.
On this DVD tonight, Joni was telling about the Concert at Woodstock (among many other memories), and her deep friendship with Crosby, Stills, and Nash--who were very.......shall we say.....INSTRUMENTAL at that gathering. Joni had planned to go, but everyone was afraid that she could not get in and then back out to do the Dick Cavett Show the next night. It was her TV debut, and she couldn't chance missing out on it. The cost of fame, I guess!
As it turned out, Crosby, Stills, and Nash had rented a helicopter to get in and out of the Concert--and they ended up crashing Dick's Show. On the film, there is a clip of Dick Cavett, and Joni, and the boys chatting up the amazing scenery that had gone down at Yasgur's Farm in New York. Joni had wept during the day, that she couldn't be there......and her grief had brought up in her the words and melody for "Woodstock," her enormously popular song about the event. Dave Crosby related: "Joni always had a way of grasping the totality of a scene. She could be part of it, but she also found a way to rise above it as well. In that song, she captured more of the crowd and the experience than anyone who had actually been there."
As I was listening to Crosby talk.........I realized that I, too, had tears streaming down my face.......because *I* was not present at Woodstock, either. Like Joni, I had "other things pressing me." It was a strange time in my life. I was present for everything that happened, but only a shadow of me was there. The majority of me was still stuck in 3D, and couldn't really get out yet. I felt like Robin Williams in Spielberg's film "Hook," saying: "I'm sorry. I missed the 60s. I was an accountant." It wasn't exactly like that, because I was strumming the guitar and singing the good songs.........but so much of me didn't even have a CLUE what was going on around me! Very much like many folks today, with the Oneness Stuff and Ascension-Grid Work.
As an insurance policy, I later reverted completely, during the 70s.........and became a Fundamentalist Christian--so I could further seal the lid on my spiritual "box".......until such time as it absolutely could no longer hold me. Then bam! Off came the lid.
As I sit and review these scenes now, on film.........I realize that a part of me, like Joni........had simply flown above the process, like Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I was there, but I kept my feelings and my cards very close to my chest.........lest my true nature be made known, if only to myself! And now as I review the marvelous poetry of those words........they are as present and relevant to me NOW as they ever would have been........or could have been......back then.
"By the time we got to
woodstock
We were half a million strong
And everywhere there was song and celebration
And I dreamed I saw the bombers
Riding shotgun in the sky
And they were turning into butterflies
Above our nation
We are stardust
Billion year old carbon
We are golden
Caught in the devil’s bargain
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden....."
words and music by Joni Mitchell
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