"Unrequited"

B Y   D A N I E L   J A C O B

The Reconnections have often emphasized in their teachings about Relationships and Oneness that there is no such thing as "unrequited love."   Since everything and everyone is part of the same ONE THING, or ONE BEING......then it follows that each of us are holographic fragments (reflected pieces) of that One........and, in many cases, mirror images of each other.  And in such cases, as it goes with mirrors, those reflections will appear backwards. Hence, we begin our journey into the Realms of Shadow.   

This article is inspired by a Michael McDonald Song:  "You Can't Make It Love"............which is combined on You Tube (see below) of another favorite of mine "What a Fool Believes."  And they both follow the same theme.......trying to make something work in a love connection, when all the pieces are just not there. 

This song makes me remember a virtual "conga line" of tangled emotions, experienced by a group of us back in the 90s, when I was (supposedly) running from this woman who really seemed to want me, while chasing another woman who I really liked, even as she was running after a fellow SHE liked, even while that fellow was running away because he cared deeply about "someone else."  Eventually, I dispensed with the "drama" of it all.......collapsing in laughter about the absolute ridiculousness of the whole business.  

In all these contexts, the binding force we all seemed to feel was HUNGER......a faint remembrance of our life in the ONE, while still identifying ourselves by a (separated) human form.  We each projected our need onto someone "else".......who we made sure was sufficiently disinterested to keep satisfaction of the "hunger" just out of reach.  It took me awhile (I can be slow, at times!)........to realize that we had all specially CHOSEN each other for just this purpose:  Stir up the hunger, but leave it unsatisfied.    

  

The application of this awesome song goes way back in my life.  When I finally cried my last quart of tears after divorcing my wife Lynn, back in the early 80's...... I realized that I wasn't crying for the loss of the relationship, per se.  I was crying for the loss of the DREAM I held about the relationship.........finally seeing it for what it WAS, rather than what I had thought it would become. As my life fell down around me, I became ready to allow in some hard realizations.   

One of the best parts of this song ("You Can't Make It Love") is the open sharing that goes on between a woman in pain and her former lover, who had one felt great pain over the loss of THEIR relationship.  The key lines for my own activation were:  "There's no way love can grow if only one is true.  I would think that you should know.  After all, I learned this from you."

 
Michael Mcdonald Lyrics
You Can't Make It Love Lyrics

And in the sharing of these lines, the lovers open up to ANOTHER KIND OF LOVE.....a wiser and more compassionate connection, that is ever-so-possible, if we can just move pas our damaged egos, and open our spiritual eyes.  The words illustrate for us a calm appreciation for another human being by a person who has finally shed his illusions about her.......has ceased from projecting this intensive HUNGER, hidden beneath the surface in all of us. He has taken his "Goddess" down from her pedestal, and is simply talking with her---one soul to another.  If I wanted to, I could read some animosity in there.............some delight that she finally got her "comeuppance"............but then the entire lesson would spiral downward, and ultimately lose its value. 

When the HUNGER is fully aroused, it's impossible to satisfy.  It's the root of all addictions, all obsessions.....an undulating vortex of unquenchable desire.  I believe that this state of mind is the very core of what many of us think of as HELL.

 

It's hard to tell, from my own experience, whether I was BORN with this hunger..........this longing.......or it leaked into me, at some point in time.  I just know that I have always remembered reaching.........for food, for attention, for approval.....trying to satisfy emotional needs that tend to run so rampant in children. And there's something in here about a child's fixation on a mother's breast---that sense of profound vulnerability and raw human need. 

How Much is Enough?

It often comes as a surprise to those who approach the Recons, seeking help with Relationship Conundrums, how much their personal sense of HUNGER is controlling the types of dance partners they attract in.  Women are forever lamenting about the fact that ALL the men they fall for are commitment phobic.  How many of them consider that it may be THEY who are afraid..........THEY who are hesitant to "make the leap".......so they continually seek out (and fall for) partners who remain aloof or unavailable.  And a man may find himself scorning the "unfaithfulness" seen in a girlfriend........her inability to stay engaged to their primary relationship.  But is he considering the "shadow" aspect of HIMSELF who also wants to stray a bit?  That secret self who wonders if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence?  Usually.........and alas (!).......it is only through repetitive choices and encounters---shadow dancing we call it-- that a person finally discovers the ROOTS of this HUNGER, and the intense hold it has over us all. 

The range of what we think and do
is limited by what we fail to notice.
And because we fail to notice
that we fail to notice
there is little we can do
to change
until we notice
how failing to notice
shapes our thoughts and deeds.


--R.D. Laing

________________________

I remember being awake late one night, speaking with the Guides.  And this topic of "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" came up in the conversation.  Boo Hoo!  Poor me.  I forget the exact cause of my concern at the time, but the topic is universal.  I remember the surprise I felt when I heard the Reconnections say to me:  "Now that you've begun to reach outside your reality "box," you can kiss the idea of "satisfaction" good-bye."  And I paused, and said:  "Say what?" 

"Well......" said Master Beltshezzar (for the Group)........."The concept of SATISFACTION implies the image of a cup, a receptacle of some kind, that is FULL, to the brim........does it not?"  (I nodded)  "..........and that's well and good."  

He continued:  "But when you remove the "lid" from the receptacle........or the "ceiling" from your house....... and begin to expand, beyond the shape and size you always thought it would "end up being," the idea that it might ever be "full" again goes out the window."   

And THAT, they told me.......is the "bad news" about becoming Multiversal.  And THAT, they quickly added......is also the reason we'll never, ever want to give up being HUMAN, being UNIVERSAL.......dancing in separation.  It's only in SEPARATION that we can experience, if only fleetingly, the illusion of being "full" (full-filled)...........and even THAT can only be experienced for a moment in time!  But what a moment it is!  THAT MOMENT can last an eternity.......if we know how to handle the energy.  It can fill us to overflowing......and then empty us completely, only to fill us up again. 

If we are sad, let us BE FULLY in that sadness.  It's only through profound sadness that we can experience its mirror reflection. If we are lonely, let us BE RAVENOUSLY LONELY..........LAMENTATION lonely...........that the roots of our "unrequited" desire might go DEEP into the Oneself and CALL FORTH their counterpart(s) which are multiple and vast!   And no........you can't MAKE IT love.........but you can relax into it........however it seems or feels........and you can LET IT BE LOVE, in whatever form that might want or need to take........and savor its flavor for this Now Moment.  Not to be "filled" or "quenched" or "satisfied"...........but simply to be interested, instructed and amused.......for that is the primary purpose of 3D, is it not? 
 

 

Michael McDonald


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